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Parenting
How to Build a Home
Kim A Goodin
Our
society too often discounts the importance of managing a household
and raising children. But the hard work of cooking, cleaning, and
caring for little ones is much more than just a set of necessary
chores. It's a holy trust and a way to help change the world for the
better.
That's because God's work in human lives begins at home, and the
quality of a home significantly shapes the kind of people who emerge
from it. If you're a mom, God has a great purpose for your work and
longs to help you fulfill your sacred calling. He wants you to
recognize that your home is holy ground where you can build
something important with His help.
Here's how you can build the kind of home God wants you to have:
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Be intentional
about your work. Know that you are called to create and maintain
a home environment that reflects God's love, hope,
righteousness, mercy, and peace. Be willing to spend the time
and energy necessary to plan and do your work at home well.
Realize that it's an important ministry. Strive to bless all who
live in your home and all who visit your home by creating a warm
and welcoming place. Think of your home as an incarnation center
where God's attributes can be seen in our material world.
-
Open your home
and heart to God. Let God know that you want to use your home to
serve and glorify Him. Say "yes" to God no matter what He asks
you to do - in all aspects of your life. Ask the Holy Spirit to
help you trust in God's wisdom. Be willing to sacrifice your
time, plans, and even your dreams if they conflict with His will
for you. Know that, if He sees you're open to His work in your
life, He will use you powerfully. Don't worry about your own
limitations; rely on His power instead.
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Catch a vision.
Ask God to give you a clear picture of what holy, God-centered
home looks like. Visualize what kind of home life you would like
to have. Consider such topics as devotion to Christ, marriage,
children, friends, pets, your schedule, hospitality, prayer,
peace, shared meals, stimulating conversation, learning
together, financial security, celebrations, professional
achievements, laughter, comfort, and d?cor. Then reflect on what
your current home situation is like, and write down a
description of it. Don't get discouraged if there's a big
difference between your vision and your current reality!
Instead, think and pray about practical steps you could take to
make improvements.
-
Remember your
ultimate home. Understand that earth is just your temporary
home; your permanent dwelling place will be heaven. Model your
own home after what you know of heaven.
Make it a place of beauty that delights the senses through
visually appealing colors and arrangements, pleasing scents,
etc. Make it a comforting place where there are no safety
hazards, the temperature is appropriate, and each person's
dignity and feelings are protected. Make it a gathering place
where people can enjoy being together and communing with God.
Make it an orderly place where clutter and emergencies don't
detract from what is truly important. Make it a place of truth
where people can honestly seek God, learn, and discuss issues.
Make it a hospitable place where guests are always welcome. Make
it a place where God is present and rules.
Consider placing a visual symbol like a plaque with a Bible
verse or a cross in your home to remind you of your household's
commitment to follow God.
-
Let others help
you. Use the many resources God offers you for help in building
your home: guidance from the Bible and the Holy Spirit; support
from your church; mentorship from an older woman; a sisterly
friendship with a peer; advice from a pastor or counselor; help
from a maid or babysitter, and inspiration from seminars, books,
magazines, radio, television, or videos.
-
Don't define
yourself by just your role. Understand that you are not just a
wife, mother, homemaker, breadwinner, or hostess, as important
as those roles are. Know that when God looks at you, He sees you
as His child and loves you because of who you are rather than
what you do. Know also that God looks ahead to see the person
who you are becoming. Strive to be faithful and content with
your life as it is now, but always be looking ahead to the
future. Write down your dreams and goals. Pray about them. Think
about what practical steps you can take to learn more and pursue
the dreams and goals you have.
-
Create a
peaceful home. Set out to make your home a haven from a
stressful, chaotic world. Figure out what's currently disrupting
the peace in your home and plan how you can change that. Perhaps
bad attitudes like complaining, nagging, bickering, or rebellion
need to go. Perhaps there's too much noise in your house, or too
much conflict.
Ask God to develop a quiet heart and gentle spirit within you.
Learn how to speak softly, kindly and respectfully to those who
share your home. Cultivate peaceful relationships with them. Be
sensitive to their needs. Genuinely listen to them. Be willing
to forgive.
Replace a frantic pace with an unhurried one so you can relax.
Clean your house of clutter and dirt that causes you stress.
Create soothing pockets of silence and extra space in your home.
Spend time with Jesus, the Prince of Peace, regularly in prayer
and by reading the Bible.
-
Use your time
wisely. Ask God to help you clarify what your priorities should
be. Then build your schedule around those priorities. Pursue
only those activities that are truly important to you and drop
the rest.
Clear out items from your home that you don't truly need or want
so you won't waste time maintaining them. For example, consider
whether or not you really have time to use all the electronic
gadgets you have. Filter out spam on your computer and toss out
junk mail without reading it. Expect interruptions and plan to
work around them. Build rest into your schedule, including
observing a weekly Sabbath day.
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Create an
orderly home. Identify your organizational problems. Prepare to
tackle them by planning a strategy (big projects should be
broken down into small, scheduled chunks) and buying materials
like storage bins and filing cabinets. Delegate tasks to others
in your household who are willing to help. Designate every item
to be put away properly, given away, or thrown away. Once your
house is organized, develop a routine to maintain order.
-
Create a loving
home. Affirm, encourage, and support the people who share your
home. Express your love to them in ways that make them feel
valued. Observe traditions together and strive to create special
memories.
-
Make your home
a place of growth. Give the people who live in your home an
atmosphere where they can grow into the mature, loving, godly
people God wants them to be. Give them the freedom to try new
things, the grace they need to learn from mistakes, the space to
be creative, the discipline to order their lives, and the
courage to reach out to others. Think and pray about what kind
of people you'd like your home to produce, then keep that vision
in mind. Consider areas of spiritual, mental, emotional, and
physical health for everyone in your household, including
yourself.
-
Cultivate your
influence on your children. Model healthy attitudes and good
character for your children at home. Let them see you being
truthful, faithful, and grateful. When you need help, show them
how you turn to Jesus for forgiveness, guidance, and grace.
Teach and train your children according to biblical principles,
and be patient with them as they learn. Make your children a
high priority in your life. Commit to being physically,
mentally, and emotionally present and engaged with them as often
as you possibly can. Respect and celebrate each child's
uniqueness. Give them the tools and opportunities they need to
develop their talents. Protect and discipline them. Enlist help
from friends, family members, teachers, coaches, and others as
you raise your children. Have fun with your kids and enjoy them.
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